Pappa wants mamma naked
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
