So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
