we have pet lesbian snakes
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just found a bag of teeth...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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