she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
