Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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