He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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