The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The air taste purple.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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