in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
