I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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