I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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