I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
