saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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