I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
