Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
