can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
