If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
