Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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