I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
