Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
