Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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