Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
