You smell like a Billy Joel song
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
