Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

O no, u 2 are dating again?

(503): View more from Oregon

No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture

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(858): View more from California

that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...

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(865): View more from Tennessee

dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

(302): View more from Delaware

You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

(865): View more from Tennessee

They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

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(812): View more from Indiana

She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.

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(740): View more from Ohio

she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse

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(727): View more from Florida

Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.

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(512): View more from Texas

We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go

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(845): View more from New York

man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...

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