Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
