wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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