so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
