So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
