cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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