If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
