Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
