i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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