I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Randomize
