so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
