My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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