You can't special order awesome
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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