Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
