This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
