Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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