Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
