Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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