she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am mentally ready for anal.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
