I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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