I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
