I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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