god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
that's an acceptable place to lick
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
