one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
