he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
