its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
