Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
