Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
